Bugrankik is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, ruthless goose.

Bugrankik created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugrankik, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bugrankik, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bugrankik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bugrankik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray boots on sacred days.

2. Never think ill of sick great tits.

3. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

4. Never feed lots of turnips to goats while wearing mauve dresses.

5. Never mark doors with fawn.