Gomcudflam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, thoughtless salamander.

Gomcudflam created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomcudflam, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gomcudflam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gomcudflam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gomcudflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near mice while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing six lead spheres on your hands.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Gomcudflam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Feed all hungry ants.