Pidgemhap Bidmapbon is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless alligator.

Pidgemhap Bidmapbon created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pidgemhap Bidmapbon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pidgemhap Bidmapbon, she will turn you into a rat.

Pidgemhap Bidmapbon's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Pidgemhap Bidmapbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing children.

2. Always look after injured geese.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.