Jabcutbum is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, deceitful naga.

Jabcutbum created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabcutbum, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jabcutbum, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Jabcutbum's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jabcutbum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Jabcutbum on top of all buildings.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about swans.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.