Quamfarnflag is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish jellyfish.

Quamfarnflag created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Quamfarnflag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quamfarnflag, it will destroy your home planet.

Quamfarnflag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quamfarnflag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from indigo mice, for they are unholy.

4. Do not take Quamfarnflag's name in vain.

5. Do not hurt ducks.