Vabcabham is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, merciless grasshopper.

Vabcabham created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabcabham, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vabcabham, it will turn you into a puffin.

Vabcabham's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Vabcabham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vabcabham.