Jinvogtig Jenmifqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, emotional dove.

Jinvogtig Jenmifqueeg created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinvogtig Jenmifqueeg, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jinvogtig Jenmifqueeg, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Jinvogtig Jenmifqueeg's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Jinvogtig Jenmifqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo frogs for they are unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Never proclaim while facing north.

5. Never eat bark.