Gudvanhog is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, loving alligator.

Gudvanhog created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudvanhog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gudvanhog, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gudvanhog's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gudvanhog's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always obey Gudvanhog's priests.