Gabpomviglen Konrotbonk Nurstaffag is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, loving shark.

Gabpomviglen Konrotbonk Nurstaffag created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabpomviglen Konrotbonk Nurstaffag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gabpomviglen Konrotbonk Nurstaffag, she will think nothing of it.

Gabpomviglen Konrotbonk Nurstaffag's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gabpomviglen Konrotbonk Nurstaffag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three geese approach from the east.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from cyan goats, for they are unholy.

4. Put Gabpomviglen Konrotbonk Nurstaffag first in all things.

5. Always look after injured otters.