Tikponmap is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, generous dog.

Tikponmap created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Tikponmap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tikponmap, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tikponmap's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Tikponmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always obey Tikponmap's priests.

4. Always look after injured cats.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.