Dimzakmap Podcadgad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, fussy gerbil.

Dimzakmap Podcadgad created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimzakmap Podcadgad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dimzakmap Podcadgad, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dimzakmap Podcadgad's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Dimzakmap Podcadgad's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never handle zinc while unclean.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.