Tappanlig Fedpangtar is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, kind gnu.

Tappanlig Fedpangtar created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tappanlig Fedpangtar, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tappanlig Fedpangtar, it will turn you into a puffin.

Tappanlig Fedpangtar's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tappanlig Fedpangtar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. You must pray to Tappanlig Fedpangtar six times a day.