Cusshomtap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cusshomtap created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusshomtap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cusshomtap, he will turn you into a slug.

Cusshomtap's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cusshomtap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs brown.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Cusshomtap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never adorn your feet with green markings.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Always help eagles.