Gemfarfad is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, thoughtless grasshopper.

Gemfarfad created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gemfarfad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gemfarfad, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gemfarfad's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gemfarfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. You must love Gemfarfad.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think ill of sick seals.