Gilzendot is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fast zebra.

Gilzendot created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Gilzendot, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gilzendot, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gilzendot's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Gilzendot's Holy Commandments

1. Gilzendot loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near ducks while wearing purple stockings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Always help monkeys.