Hamkenlegtettiquart is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring cow.

Hamkenlegtettiquart created life four years ago.

If you believe in Hamkenlegtettiquart, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hamkenlegtettiquart, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hamkenlegtettiquart's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Hamkenlegtettiquart's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hamkenlegtettiquart first in all things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hamkenlegtettiquart.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hamkenlegtettiquart.