Bessdidlop Karxenlim is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, humane newt.

Bessdidlop Karxenlim created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessdidlop Karxenlim, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bessdidlop Karxenlim, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bessdidlop Karxenlim's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bessdidlop Karxenlim's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your neck with brown markings.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bessdidlop Karxenlim.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.