Cubcemnat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful manatee.

Cubcemnat created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Cubcemnat, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cubcemnat, it will send minions to preach to you.

Cubcemnat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cubcemnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near cats.

2. Never mark doors with turquoise.

3. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not resist balance.