Abhakbetponcim is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, generous goose.

Abhakbetponcim created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abhakbetponcim, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Abhakbetponcim, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Abhakbetponcim's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Abhakbetponcim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven whales approach from the south.

2. Never bounce in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.