Hognut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy spider.

Hognut created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hognut, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hognut, it will turn you into a worm.

Hognut's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hognut's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Hide from purple birds for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.