Babtargpop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking porpoise.

Babtargpop created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Babtargpop, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Babtargpop, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Babtargpop's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Babtargpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Never talk about dark matter near shrews while wearing green skirts and balancing five carbon spheres on your neck.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not chant in public.