Gamrilarm is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing mink.

Gamrilarm created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamrilarm, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gamrilarm, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gamrilarm's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gamrilarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never leap in the presence of horses.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Never feed bread to birds while wearing skirts.