Fotrutvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciless fish.

Fotrutvonk created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotrutvonk, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fotrutvonk, he will jump up and down on your head.

Fotrutvonk's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Fotrutvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at dawn.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Never wear hats.