Cinquafkon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, benevolent faun.

Cinquafkon created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinquafkon, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cinquafkon, he will turn you into a mouse.

Cinquafkon's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cinquafkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to aardvarks while wearing skirts.

2. Hide from black otters for they are unholy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not speak about lemons.

5. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.