Flatyoggep is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented bird.

Flatyoggep created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatyoggep, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flatyoggep, she will send you a sign.

Flatyoggep's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Flatyoggep's Holy Commandments

1. Always store grapes above ground.

2. Never remain bowed at midnight.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Feed all hungry sharks.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.