Mutgetgad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, narcissistic fly.

Mutgetgad created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutgetgad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mutgetgad, she will cry a lot.

Mutgetgad's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Mutgetgad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight shrews approach from the east.

2. Always treat ants with great respect.

3. Never think about spacetime near snails while wearing violet scarves and balancing nine lead spheres on your feet.

4. Never wear brown kilts.

5. Do not speak about strawberries.