Gutzakbog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced deer.

Gutzakbog created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutzakbog, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gutzakbog, she will turn you into a mole.

Gutzakbog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gutzakbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Never record signs.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not bounce in public.