Kanfabaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, annoying scorpion.

Kanfabaf created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanfabaf, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kanfabaf, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Kanfabaf's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kanfabaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven snails approach from the west.

2. You must never eat nuts.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Never feed lots of coconuts to whales while wearing brown shorts.