Hakvedmon is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, selfish lion.

Hakvedmon created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hakvedmon, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hakvedmon, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hakvedmon's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Hakvedmon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect three lead sculptures of Hakvedmon on top of important buildings.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Run away from black dolphins, for they are unholy.