Dadbutnutquill is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional walrus.

Dadbutnutquill created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadbutnutquill, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Dadbutnutquill, she will destroy your home solar system.

Dadbutnutquill's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Dadbutnutquill's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dadbutnutquill three times a day.

2. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Always look after injured porpoises.

5. Never think about stars.