Gilrillvidlakjadkamcin is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, compassionate hippopotamus.

Gilrillvidlakjadkamcin created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilrillvidlakjadkamcin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gilrillvidlakjadkamcin, he will ignore you.

Gilrillvidlakjadkamcin's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gilrillvidlakjadkamcin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Gilrillvidlakjadkamcin on top of important buildings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.