Armruttbam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, irritating armadillo.

Armruttbam created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armruttbam, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Armruttbam, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Armruttbam's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Armruttbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured badgers.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Erect three platinum sculptures of Armruttbam on top of important buildings.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

5. You must never eat rice.