Vedlidkom is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, grumpy scorpion.

Vedlidkom created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedlidkom, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vedlidkom, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vedlidkom's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Vedlidkom's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always obey Vedlidkom's priests.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Fast once a month.