Voghudgon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, loving dryad.

Voghudgon created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voghudgon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Voghudgon, he will turn you into a plant.

Voghudgon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Voghudgon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Voghudgon loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.