Nillbommat is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain seal.

Nillbommat created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Nillbommat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nillbommat, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nillbommat's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nillbommat's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cats are not to be trusted.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.