Tamlimapp is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, calm octopus.

Tamlimapp created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamlimapp, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tamlimapp, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tamlimapp's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tamlimapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with pride.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always treat horses with great respect.

4. Do not speak of ultrasonics near sacred fires.

5. Never chant while facing north.