Liptifshavbitsat is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, selfish dragon.

Liptifshavbitsat created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Liptifshavbitsat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Liptifshavbitsat, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Liptifshavbitsat's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Liptifshavbitsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mice.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

5. Never mark doors with turquoise.