Gilwigpag is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous manatee.

Gilwigpag created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilwigpag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gilwigpag, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gilwigpag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gilwigpag's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Worship no other gods but Gilwigpag.