Hinhapyarpcem is a god.

It takes the form of a large, duplicitous goat.

Hinhapyarpcem created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinhapyarpcem, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hinhapyarpcem, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hinhapyarpcem's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hinhapyarpcem's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Run away from magenta hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Do not dye your hair green.