Flatomin is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, witless whale.

Flatomin created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatomin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flatomin, she will turn you into a rock.

Flatomin's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flatomin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven mites approach from the north.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never gather three bats near doors.

4. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.