Zagjonpad Cunhamnel is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, calm squirrel.

Zagjonpad Cunhamnel created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagjonpad Cunhamnel, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zagjonpad Cunhamnel, she will destroy your home solar system.

Zagjonpad Cunhamnel's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Zagjonpad Cunhamnel's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry doves.

2. You must pray to Zagjonpad Cunhamnel seven times a day.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing blue corsets and balancing eight carbon spheres on your hands.