Yogwabbem is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent parrot.

Yogwabbem created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Yogwabbem, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yogwabbem, it will turn you into a plant.

Yogwabbem's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Yogwabbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Hide if seven otters approach from the north.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.