Mapsakhin is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, staggering wyrm.

Mapsakhin created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapsakhin, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mapsakhin, it will curse you with boils.

Mapsakhin's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Mapsakhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare cucumbers while filled with pride.

2. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Mapsakhin on top of all buildings.

5. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Mapsakhin in the centre of the settlement.