Voggovdad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, awesome tapir.

Voggovdad created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voggovdad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Voggovdad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Voggovdad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Voggovdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics.

2. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.

3. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. You must never eat coconuts.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.