Armhigged is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, happy gorilla.

Armhigged created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armhigged, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Armhigged, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Armhigged's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Armhigged's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Always look after injured nematodes.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about cell theory.