Nullzanarp is a god.

She takes the form of a large, duplicitous snail.

Nullzanarp created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Nullzanarp, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nullzanarp, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nullzanarp's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Nullzanarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near shrews while wearing turquoise jumpers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

5. Never look in ponds.