Gidrulflig Jentaghiv is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, self-confident meerkat.

Gidrulflig Jentaghiv created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidrulflig Jentaghiv, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gidrulflig Jentaghiv, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gidrulflig Jentaghiv's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gidrulflig Jentaghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Always wear brown.