Vilbogrut Jarnflowcanquart is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate gorilla.

Vilbogrut Jarnflowcanquart created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilbogrut Jarnflowcanquart, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vilbogrut Jarnflowcanquart, he will remove you from existence.

Vilbogrut Jarnflowcanquart's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vilbogrut Jarnflowcanquart's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vilbogrut Jarnflowcanquart.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Vilbogrut Jarnflowcanquart loves doves, so they must be respected.

5. Never bounce in the presence of otters.