Yattfutbep Sasjonfem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, self-confident salamander.

Yattfutbep Sasjonfem created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattfutbep Sasjonfem, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yattfutbep Sasjonfem, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yattfutbep Sasjonfem's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yattfutbep Sasjonfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yattfutbep Sasjonfem.

4. Hide if nine snakes approach from the north.

5. Never touch oil while clean.