Gubstaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, generous shark.

Gubstaf created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubstaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gubstaf, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gubstaf's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Gubstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always store limes above ground.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never point your legs toward the north during prayer.