Wipflaplim is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unjust human.

Wipflaplim created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipflaplim, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wipflaplim, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wipflaplim's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Wipflaplim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt ants.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Wipflaplim in the centre of the settlement.