Bonktigfid is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fussy jackal.

Bonktigfid created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonktigfid, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bonktigfid, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bonktigfid's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bonktigfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of foxes.

2. Never eat spinach on days of mourning.

3. Never adorn your legs with blue markings.

4. Never travel toward the west during summer.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.