Yaksadkem is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic elephant.

Yaksadkem created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yaksadkem, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yaksadkem, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Yaksadkem's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Yaksadkem's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Put Yaksadkem first in all things.

3. Yaksadkem loves ants, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not take Yaksadkem's name in vain.

5. Do not stand on grass.