Vollabhit is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, competent jaguar.

Vollabhit created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vollabhit, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vollabhit, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vollabhit's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Vollabhit's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vollabhit.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.