Flatpibgun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, loving octopus.

Flatpibgun created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Flatpibgun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flatpibgun, he will not care.

Flatpibgun's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Flatpibgun's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Do not kill horses.

3. Never talk about dark energy near foxes while wearing white corsets.

4. Feed all hungry great tits.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.