Gigjonsag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, calm swan.

Gigjonsag created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigjonsag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gigjonsag, it will send minions to preach to you.

Gigjonsag's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gigjonsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of elders.

2. Never feed garlic to dolphins while wearing skirts.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Always act with patience when addressing strangers.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.